The Poet's Song
      (after W.S. Gilbert)

A poet’s lot is not a happy one
As he tries to make a living from his verse.
There’s no recognition, income, fame or fun
For his chance of publication can’t be worse.
Too few publishers will help a living poet 
By enabling him to get his new work read.
Though the sods may like his work they seldom show it;
They much prefer their poets to be dead.

It’s the 'late' ones who bring in vast sums of money.
You can earn a better living once you’re dead.
For the struggling current poet it’s not funny
That it’s corpses who are earning all the bread.
So to make ends meet what I should now be doing
Is to buy a knife and go and cut my throat.
Then my royalties will surely start accruing
When they posthumously publish what I wrote.

 

from The Wrong Ancient Mariner
publ. Gosvenor House Press, 2023