from The Epic of Sir Greasy Spoon
(an unlikely tale from the court of King Arthur)
When Gastro-Pub The Ghastly
With henchmen Foam and Jus
Had poured foul scorn o’er all the best
Old England’s cooks could do
One valiant knight swore solemnly
That ’ere the next full moon
He’d cook the vile intruder’s goose --
It was Sir Greasy Spoon ……
They met inside “Pour La Cuisine,”
A shop just south of Harlech,
Where Gastro-Pub had armed himself
With bain-marie and garlic,
While England’s Pride had donned a helm -
The best to cut the mustard -
Of armour-plated suet crust
And cloak of lumpy custard ……
Sir Greasy Spoon escaped with wounds
Inflicted by aioli.
But Gastro-Pub The Ghastly died
Pierced through by roly-poly.
And, ever since, across our land
Proud folk delight to say
How Gastro-Pub The Ghastly met
His early-closing day.