Christopher Robin's Party Animals
(from The Wrong Ancient Mariner)
There are bottles and fag ends and litter
and thistles and owl pellets too:
the house is in need of a clean up
which Nanny refuses to do.
And Piglet is still feeling fragile
while Pooh’s in a comatose snooze.
So it’s me who is stuck with the housework
after the party at Pooh’s.
There’s honey all over the sofa
and vol au vents blocking the loo.
But clearing up mess while hung over
is the last thing they’re able to do.
It is somebody’s turn, says the rota,
but a wine stain has covered up whose.
So I am the one in the hot seat
after the party at Pooh’s.
The forest is quiet and deserted.
Last night was one hell of a do.
Eeyore and Tigger are missing
and there’s no sign of Kanga and Roo;
and Wol can’t do more than just mumble
some drunken To-Wits and To-Woos.
So I’ve no hope of any assistance
after the party at Pooh’s . . . .
But over the years the thought struck me
that, with adulthood long overdue,
it was time that I cleared out my Nursery
though its memories would cling on like glue.
So the faithful old friends of my childhood
were sent off to museums and zoos.
But though I'm now spared all the housework
I still miss those parties at Pooh’s.
from The Wrong Ancient Mariner.
publ. Grosvenor House Press, 2023.